Sunday, 28 January 2018

Too Fat for the Gym?

If you follow me on social media, you will know that I went to the gym for the first time in two years this week. The reason I hadn't been in so long wasn't due to an injury or anything physical. In fact the reason I hadn't been was a mental thing. I thought I was too fat for the gym.

Back story for you all. I am a size 18-20 and I have been this way for a good while. It took me a long time to be happy in the body that I have, for years I hated being the size I am. In fact it wasn't until I began blogging and vlogging that I gained confidence in myself and my body.

Although I love being the size I am, I also like to be fit and exercise. For the past four years, I have received membership to my local leisure centre from my parents and that means that I can go to all the exercise classes that I want (I currently do three classes a week - Zumba, Cardio Combat and Aqua Jogging) and on top of that I have unlimited access to the gym.

When I first got my membership, I got excited by the idea that I could visit the gym because I had always thought that it looked "fun" to go on all the machines. But the moment I walked in...every exciting thought and little moodlet I had about going to the gym was whipped away.

Instead I was greated by thin gorgeous people, jogging on the treadmills and picking up massive weights, all without sweating not even a drop. I tried to carry on and do everything I wanted to, whilst getting more and more red and sweaty. And then I went for a go on the piece of apparatus that scared me the most...the treadmill. The moment I started to walk on it, it began to shake under the weight of me and that made me so self conscious. I started to think everyone was looking me and I quickly finished off my stroll and exited rather quickly.

This experience made me fear I was too fat for the gym, I couldn't compete with these lovely gorgeous fit people. They had abs for days and me well I had rolls for days instead. I stuck to my exercise classes where I felt more at home and that was it...until this week.

This Thursday just gone, something snapped inside me and I suddenly decided to give the gym another go after so long away. I strolled through the door just like before and instead of thinking what I or anyone looked like, I just took my jacket off, put my headphones on loud and strolled over to the bikes to begin my work out. In 10 minutes I cycled 3 miles and I was so proud of myself. After that I did 10 minutes on the rowing machine, in which I reached 2014m. I carried on going round the machines getting more and more confident as I went.

Then the time was nigh...I tried out the treadmill once again. I only planned to go on for a few minutes for a little stoll but something changed my must have been this new confidence. I downloaded a Couch to 5k app onto my phone and I had a go, thinking I'd give up after a few minutes. But I didn't, I completed all 30 minutes of that work out...I ran (jogged) on a treadmill and yes it shuck uncontrollably and made the water bottle look like there was an earthquake in the area but I didn't care. IN FACT, I laughed at it all. It was like a little two fingers up to anyone around who was sprinting a mile a minute.

I may not be the thinnest person at my gym but I have not enjoyed myself exercising so much in such a while. I'm going back next week and I will keep going for it all to see if I can improve my distances on the machines each week and who knows I might be sprinting with the rest of them before you know it.

The long and short of this post is to tell a story. If you have had thoughts this month about trying out the gym, do it... get some good headphones, some great music and do it for you.

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